Diwali Traditions: A Personal Journey from India to Ontario

Posted on November 2, 2024 by prashant bhatt

Diwali in Ontario, Canada for a person who spent his formative early adulthood in India comes with many memories, mixed emotions.

First Diwali in Candlestick circle-2016

2016- Lighting Preparations -First Diwali in Candlestick –

  Remembering the first Diwali celebration we had at Candlestick, October 2016. A family friend and mentor of the Canadian journey had been kind enough to come with his family and share a meal and do some readings. For that evening, we chose Ramchandra Guha’s – India After Gandhi.

We remembered the events of 1984, when we both were in Delhi. 31st October 1984 and what happened before and after that has defined our generation in many ways.

In the years before moving to our own house in Candlestick circle, we used to stay in the Ovation building near Celebration square.

We used to have community parties in the building and some veterans of Indian origin wove their fabric of music, fun and food into memorable moments. I remember one friend’s mother who told- whether I am there or no, you all please keep celebrating Diwali together, and meeting each other.

Diwali Parties in different parts of the World

Remembering the celebrations of Diwali in Oil Clinic of Tripoli, Shara Jraba clinic and the housing of colleagues, and our weekly dinners at Safir restaurant near Martyr’s square made me reflect on the Years gone by.

In “Who will cry when you die” the writer-speaker Robin Sharma tells about the difference between a diary and journal. A journal he says is one of the best personal development tools one can have. In this private space, one can reflect and refine on what we do, why we do it, and what lessons we have learnt.

Earlier Perspectives

Year End Diary-Notes-2015 | Prashant Bhatt’s notes

Thanksgiving and Diwali notes

Diwali is also a time to look back and see what one is grateful for in the past year.

One of my mentors -Sudhir Bahuguna- (my maternal uncle) passed away this year.

He helped me go through the nuances of understanding the causes and conditions which make a people what they are. He was one of the inspirations of the Tripoli Reading Group. 

He would gently rebuke me when I would be too dogmatic or overbearing, blindsided by the medical scientific imaging culture which relies heavily on costly equipment.

Thanksgiving and Diwali are times to look back- in work, communications, family, personal, community and whom would you like to especially remember. Remembered some loved ones who have passed away, wrote small letters of gratitude.

The Himalaya Hitkar Society-Uttarkashi-1991

Himalaya Hitkar Society-Fellow-travelers-Uttarakhand-Karanprayag-November 2016

One fellow-traveler who passed away- dear Sudhir Mamaji (Sudhir Bahuguna) deepened in me the spirit of seeing the causes and conditions which shape the community. He started the Himalaya Hitkar Society in the aftermath of the 1991 Uttarkashi earthquake. 1

The Garhwal division of Uttarakhand is flanked by Tons river on west, Alaknanda in the east, and is located at the boundary of the Indian and Eurasian tectonic plates. Over the decades apart from holding Health Camps, he helped train teachers in the hills, facilitated the increase in understanding of persons in remote areas.

Exploring Subaltern Historiography-Hotel Kabir-Tripoli-2009

He was one of the inspirations of the Tripoli Reading Group, which I initiated with the help of some Professors in the University of Tripoli, who helped me see subaltern historiography in a more intimate, realistic manner. Many were the evenings in Kabir Hotel of Tripoli (now closed) when we would meet over coffee and discuss how the day-to-day life of people in Tripoli and surrounding areas evolves.

When the open rebellion against the Gaddafi regime started in 2011, there had already been many decades of alternative narratives as evidenced by memoirs like Hisham Matar’s – In the Country of Men

The book is told through the eyes of Suleima, a nine-year-old boy living in Tripoli, Libya who tries to balance the mixed feelings of being associated with a father whose clandestine anti-regime activities bring about searches, stalkings and disappearances and a vulnerable mother who tries to bury her anxiety, anger, confusion into Alcohol.

The burning of the office of the Green Book-February-2011

The Gazala and Mermaid Statue of Tripoli- 2006 – it is not there any more-just as the Hotel Kabir where we used to have meetings of our Reading Group has closed down

Such associations helped me go around Tripoli in the early days of the uprising- the Libyan Chapter of the Arab spring. One local member of the reading group pointed out to me the burning of the office of the Green book.

The Green book of Gaddafi was inspired by the Red book of Mao, had its influence on many, was essential reading in schools and was broadcast through local radio stations. The socialist Bolivian president Evo Morales cited the Green Book as a major influence on his beliefs.

Some sections like the one on abolishing money are similar to Friederich Engels’ Principles of Communism- “The final step is when the new socialist society reaches the stage where profit and money disappear. It is through transforming society into a fully productive society, and through reaching in production a level where the material needs of the members of society are satisfied. On that final stage, profit will automatically disappear and there will be no need for money.”

As I spent that summer of 2011 on the ground, in Libya, watching the unfolding of the Arab spring and NATO Backed offensive, the way the Green Book manifested on the ground, the many institutions which were influenced by it came to mind.

Networks and Cafes of Toronto and New York City – Around Diwali 2024

MARANASATI- Guided Retreat Feb 2024: Walks in Massachusetts-Barre area- This guided retreat helped us explore the truth in the story of Kisa Gotima whose only child died- she was told to go to the Buddha who told her he could bring the child back to life if she would find white mustard seeds from a family where no one has died. All retreatants were told to place a paper with a name of a loved one who has passed away in the centre of the meditation hall. Then we had Noble Silence for the 6 days of the retreat, only talking when we had to share our perspectives in a guided manner

Around this time, we exchanged cards and gifts. Through work I have come to know persons whom I would not usually meet in my social circles. Through coffee times at Baka Bloor, where we read parts of Yuval Noah Hariri’s new book-Nexus, we discussed spiritual networks which inform our walks and discussions.

 The Baka cafe at Bloor street is an interesting networking place. A few weeks ago, I met a  friend there, whose parents were originally from India. He was born here in Toronto. On sharing notes he told that his father had served in the British Indian Army in World War 2. 

  Am also grateful for the time we as a family spent together praying at the Marble Collegiate Church where Father Norman Vincent Peale gave his message of Power of Positive Thinking. Quiet time on a retreat in Manresa – Pickering gave some time to reflect on the question- how is God working in your life, what is it that you learned about yourself through this journey.

I first came to Manresa in May 2022. I remember doing one of my first basic interventions exams from Manresa then. Now, two years on, have evolved to a different level and realized how little I knew, and how much more ground there is to be covered.

Diwali 2024

As we walked through Riverwood around Thanksgiving and Diwali, participated in prayers at the Ram Mandir of Mississauga-which is organized by Pandit-ji who was born and raised in Guyana, it was a also a time to look back at celebrations of Diwali in different parts of the world. I remembered some mentors, some fellow travelers and the spirit of unity, hope and forgiveness and healing.

Earlier Perspectives

2012-Diwali in Tripoli

Diwali in Tripoli. | Prashant Bhatt’s notes

2012-Migrant Nights

Migrant Nights | Prashant Bhatt’s notes

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Journey to John Street-Rochester

Posted on September 29, 2024 by prashant bhatt

As I met Mayank at Rochester Campus-John Street we took a walk through his campus, he showed me buildings where he has his classes, told me about the clubs he has joined. Then we sat and prayed on a bench – thanksgiving for all the people who have helped us reach this level and place, and a thanksgiving for all the persons who keep the campus running.

Later we talked about the historical and natural New York state and I shared with him some glimpses of the Rochester Science History through these pictures

APPLE PARER- BOUTELL MANUFACTURING COMPANY-ROCHESTER-NY-1895 William H Bouttell was a major manufacturer in Rochester NY in the late 19th century. This is an Apple Parer built around 1898.

LITERARY JOURNEYS

I started early from Mississauga, crossed at Lewiston and reached M at 8 am. On the way, listened to the story of the Wilmont family.

Updike in his 1996 novel, Beauty of the Lilies, follows four generations of the Wilmont family, starting with Clarence, a minister who loses his faith, and becomes a salesman of encyclopedias. The title of the novel is adapted from the American patriotic song by Julia Ward Howe, first published in 1862 which links the Union cause with God’s vengeance on the day of Judgment.

The relations between the father as he goes down with cancer esophagus and his son and other family are rich explorations of aspirations.

Welcome Autumn-2024

Previous Perspectives

2011- discussions with Mayank- on his trip to Agra, and Shivaji’s escape

Agra Fort’s most famous prisoner was Shah Jahan. However, Mayank found the tale of Shivaji’s escape from captivity more exciting and recalled the events of May –July 1666. He has been seeing the serial Vir-Shivaji very closely (eats food only while watching the serial) and hence this part of history of Agra Fort especially appealed to him.

Writing workshops with Mayank | Prashant Bhatt’s notes

CONVERSATIONS IN ROCHESTER-2024-Sep 15
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Grief Awareness Day 

Posted on September 18, 2024 by prashant bhatt

30th August was Grief Awareness Day, and part of that is thinking about why we need such a day in the first place. Grief is often overlooked as an issue people need help with, and the severity of the consequences can simply be lost in passing.

It was perhaps put best by Joan Didion in her 2005 book The Year of Magical Thinking, noting that “People who have lost someone have a certain look recognizable maybe only to those who have seen that look on their own faces. I have noticed it on my face, and I notice it now on others. The look is one of extreme vulnerability, nakedness, openness.”

That inability to see grief means that many suffering from it often do so alone, unwilling to see the issue for what it is and recognize that they do need help. That makes it ever more important to be able to recognize and understand grief, and support those suffering from it.

The most commonly referenced work on grief is by Kubler Ross and David Kessler, with their stages of grief model. This encompasses Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, and finding meaning. But while that is a neat package that sets everything out clearly, what does it mean in practice?

If we look at a recent case study, we can get some idea of how we find meaning within grief itself. 

A man’s long-term partner chose not to attend as he went for MAID – Medical Assistance in Dying – support, hoping to avoid further conflicts with his family. While his sons do recognize and accept her, the extended family, including his ex-wife, the mother of his sons, and her relatives, would be uneasy with her there. 

The result of missing those last moments had a lasting impact though, leaving her with feelings of guilt, shame and confusion, and to help find meaning in all of this, we turn to Narrative therapy.

Specifically, we utilize the Re-remembering approach of Narrative Therapy. This allows us to dig deeper into the implication of one’s contribution to the person’s identity, that person’s contribution to our life, how one’s identity would be viewed through that person’s eyes and the implication of these contributions (White, 2007).

By adopting this strategy, the following conversations about identity allowed her to look at how her partner had helped her to process her own loss after the ex-husband passed away, and her desire to be there for her own sons from that marriage. Her partner’s support in that difficult situation led to deeper conversations about the processes of family, parenting and life.

From here, she was able to see that her own contribution to his identity centered on finding a renewed value and meaning in the connection he had with his stepsons after his marriage had ended. His stepsons spoke at the funeral and mentioned how they had seen a different way of relating as their father (He was the only person they knew as their father).

Viewing your own identity through another’s eyes allows us to see their impact beyond day-to-day life, revealing a much richer connection and the impact they have in a wider context of our own personalities and behaviors.

Exercise

You can do this for yourself too, and it’s a great tool to use when dealing with grief of any kind.

To try Re-remembering, sit down and spend some time thinking about someone you know who has physically passed. Remember them, and the joint energy you felt in that relationship. To help with this, think about a shared moment, and how it felt to be together in that moment, what you retain from it today and how you could imbibe that energy today.

Think about how comfortable it was to share that experience, and then focus on what the overall experience, of both re-remembering and of sharing, has been like.

As an example, when I do this exercise, I think about nature walks in the early morning, the gift my father gave to me many years ago. On the 4th anniversary of his death, I took a walk up the hills near Haridwar, Uttarakhand in India, and used that walk to re-remember him.

That moment brought everything together, the memory of the joint energy we shared on our walks, and the many walks I had since taken without him, where I had also felt that same energy as part of my experience. But walking in nature was not the only thing that I have carried on from my father’s inspiration. 

Another is the use of flashcards and checklists. No, those shared moments don’t have to be something out of the ordinary or a specific moment in time. In my pre-school years, I saw him make flash cards of important drugs, how they would interact with other drugs and with body systems in different stages of disease (he was an anesthesiologist). I still use those same techniques today in my work, and I would say that using flashcards and checklists is integral to my professional identity, so important to what I have become. 

Re-remembering for me brings back all these things, nature walks, flashcards, checklists, and how they each contribute to the meaning of the others. In the 1980s, we went for nature walks to the hills of Shimla, Himachal Pradesh, India and he talked about his younger childhood years. We prayed at the temples which he had visited as a child. Those pilgrimages and museum walks have given me the spirit of taking my own sons, nephews, nieces to museums, natural areas.

If his spirit would see or experience this, he would view it as an extension of our walks together in the Western Sahyadri ranges and Northern Himalayan ranges of India. It is that understanding that helps put my love of these walks in context, in the same way using flashcards is. Those are the lasting influences of the beautiful relationship I had with my father.

References

White, M. (2007). Maps of narrative practice. WW Norton & Company.

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