On Sagar’s 26th birthday, we looked back at some of our journeys together. I saw the guitar drawn on the sand at Sabratha (May 31,2009) a diary of his school day at St Edward’s college, Cottonera, Malta (Sep 27,2011) and a book discussion with application exercises – Thinking for a change – by John Maxwell in Mississauga (October 6,2017).
A diary is a record of day to day activities, a journal is more reflective and can see a process, the nuances and be a foundation for self improvement, growth of identity.
Diaries and Journals
Remembering Sabratha- Libya and some notes from school and reading journals
Originally inhabited by the indigenous Berber Zwagha tribe in the 8th century BCE, Sabratha became a Carthagian colony around 5th century BCE, then was taken by the Numidians in 2 nd century BC.The city was among those taken by Rome and was included as part of the province of Africa Nova during the reign of Julius Caesar (48-44 BCE).
Understanding from history tool has been a way to relate to different works of art,
literature ever since we did a course on Understanding Shakespeare. The history plays showed us how Prince Hal treated Falstaff after he became the king.
The history of this region has changed in the past decades after the Arab spring. The diary by the sea is a reminder of the times when things were more stable. Earlier thousands of Indian diaspora used to work in Libya. We ran a Reading group here, where we dissected layers the layers of day to day life.
One book which we read and discussed was The Cairo Trilogy, by Naguib Mahfouz. In his introduction, Sabry Hafez writes how family politics in the Trilogy are revealed in the daily rituals of eating and drinking coffee as well as in the symbolism of the distribution of space for each activity. He tells how the breakfast takes place on the top floor, which is the sole domain of the father. Everyone comes to His Ground and behaves according to His rules.
Over the decades, I have tried to pass on the gifts which my parents, grandparents and other seniors in the family gave me- through the love of the written word, reading and discussing works of literature and art. In three pictures which I took and sent to Sagar on his birthday, two were of his entries into a diary and reading journal.
Reflection Points
1- How does a day to day activity like having coffee turn into an exercise in examining and exploring space
Eg- Having a meal together – setting the table.
2- Which book will you take for the coffee-hour of the week this time
Eg- I revisited the Cairo Trilogy, memories of Tripoli and Arab world came up.
3- How does internal memory of a Home Library come up as we look back in the books we have gathered
Eg- Cairo Trilogy was gifted to me by my friend Ebrahim Gomari, originally from Benghazi
2022-June- Graduation from Toronto Metropolitan University. We went and prayed at Gordon Memorial Rock-Mississauga (Sahil’s school- Grades 9-12-2014-2018). Currently (March 2025) Sagar has been staying in New York City since July and Sahil has completed his Masters and pursuing Phd in Industrial and Mechanical engineering.
Spaces like Graydon rock, Sabratha, have been part of our family journeys, just as reading and discussing books, creating a home library and personalized notes from them have been part of our identity
2019 May- History Walks- Dundurn Castle area-Hamilton Ontario
Charles Lamb (1775-1834) was the writer I read while recovering from Jet Lag after returning from India. The body clock is still set to Indian Time. The Home Library (HL) which my parents first introduced me to in my pre-school years is my reliable knowledgeable constant companion. That was the year of the formation of Bangladesh. The maps in the encyclopedia had blacked out the Indian subcontinent. From the happenings in Bangladesh and surrounding areas now, there is much unrest there still.
Walking into a Picture-New York City-The Terminal, 1893-Alfred Steiglitz
What would it be like, to all your senses, to walk into the Terminal, Jennifer Cognac Black gave this interesting prompt while describing her own engagement with the atmosphere of a wintry Harlem Morning. This reminded me of last February (2024) walk to the Port Authority Bus Terminal early in the morning to catch the bus to Worcester, on way to Barre for a Guided Retreat. On the previous evening, had gone with Sagar to Dera in Jackson Heights area.
The Terminal, 1893, Alfred Steiglitz, Harlem New York City
The slush of the street resembles the primordial soup of creation. The tracks of carriages show lines of journeys. The horses take me back to the millenia embodied in the culture of caring and taming animals. Harlem sign reminded me of July 2022 when Sagar left 697 to work and live in New York City. The atmosphere tastes expectant. The industry of men who help people commute has an energy and vigour.
The transition time reminds me walks and fellow travelers-
Landour Mussoorie area-2014
Flying Spray of Glasgow
The theme of walking into a photograph made me review Frank M Sutcliffe’s – The Flying Spray of Glasgow. It is resting at low tide by the harbour wall at Coffee House Corner in Whitby, North Yorkshire. The slats on the paddle casing rhyme with that flight of steps leading up to the Marine Hotel. The boats site contentedly on their reflections in the still water. This photograph of the 1880s portrays the fishing community in Whitby and the abbey and harbour with its bridges. The underlying subject, quite apart from such ostensible topics as harbour traffic, was security. Sutcliffe’s ideal harbour is homely and reassuring. Here, the day’s work is done and the doors of the Marine Hotel, will soon by open. (Basilico Berry, Phaidon The Photography Book, 1997)
These themes made me revisit some art walks. In the nature drawing course of Petra Zanting, Visual Arts Mississauga, Sahil spent a few hours drawing the bark of a tree
Reading Charles Lamb (1775-1834) and his experience of retirement, “ For the first day or two I felt stunned- overwhelmed. I was in the condition of a prisoner in the old Bastile, suddenly let loose after forty years’ confinement.” This passage reminds me of periods of transition when I had time, and the routine structures of work, life, relationships had been altered. One such period was the New Year time of 2017 when after over 3 decades in Imaging sciences I decided to try my luck in Canada and stay here permanently rather than keep going and coming. The uncertainty and pain of that period was reduced by the structure I got from attending a sonography class. One veteran told me to not change my plans and do one thing consistently for at least a year and then test the results, refine the approach. This was also a period when I joined the Tim Horton’s Club. Many were the afternoons and evenings when we would unwind and review. One friend from those days, after a particularly intense session told me that what I had told him was very similar to what his Uncle (from Pakistan-settled in Toronto for over 30 years) had told him, however, my way of telling was softer. From then on, I have become his Indian Chachoo (uncle-father’s brother).
These hours of discussion, reading, reflection have over the past eight years of staying permanently in Canada as a landed immigrant helped me examine many self-created Old Bastiles. The writer psychotherapist Lori Gottlieb in her book “ Maybe you should talk to someone” told of the prison cells we create, not realizing that there are no bars on the side, and we can walk away.
I had grown to my desk, as it were, and the wood had entered into my soul….Charles Lamb, 1821
Valletta -2016 August
As part of the transition, many immigrants take up survival jobs. Mine has been to have some form of imaging device, as I am learned these skills when I was young. The assignments I got due to this skill helped me explore parts of Hamilton and Halton which I would not have otherwise done and I came to know persons of different ages and backgrounds whom I would not have met in my routine life as an immigrant. Indian origin immigrants generally stick to their own stock and I observed that they have regional associations of Mumbaikars, Bihar-Jharkhand, Andhra, Maharashtra and so on, which further adds to their identity.
We are friends of photography, hence we are friends….A photography teacher, 2005
The first time in my life, when I started staying alone, after many years of married life, children I took up a course in photography to help decrease the negativity and confusion. This helped me see the city of Delhi in different times of the day, in different seasons, on different days of the week in a different way. It also helped me develop a unique section of my home library dedicated to art and photography. Though the books are few, they are a significant addition to novels, memoirs, diaries, self help books, and scientific books. My appreciation of works like “The Terminal” (Alfred Steiglitz, 1893) and The Flying Spray of Glasgow (Frank M Sutcliffe, 1880s) grew as I learned what it is to draw with light. It has many similarities with sonography – to draw with sound, and other imaging methodologies. It also helped me watch city scapes in a different way.
Sleeve -is part of a garment that wholly or partly covers a person’s arm. This year, I was able to transition from doing probono work in counselling to developing stable clients of my own. Being in the healing professions since 1980s, counseling approach led me to read the basic works of Carl Rogers, Fritz Perls, Erik Erikson, Christine Padesky amongst others in a more intimate way after finishing the rigours of the masters program in Counselling.
The trip to Worcester and Barre Massachusetts which I had mentioned in the earlier part of this blog, (Feb 2024) helped me see what parts of my helping healing practice I need to develop and deepen.
Just as staying alone had helped me develop the Photography and Art section of the Home Library, studying Counselling at an academic professional level helped me develop understanding of works on Grief and Existentialism. Yalom has become a regular go-to when I am stuck with a situation. How to give the gift of therapy, help persons develop their observer mind (OM), uncover Blind Spots (BS1) and Bull Shit (BS2) without making the person run has been part of the growing process.
Developing landscapes in Barre Massachusetts, Manresa Pickering
Some of my Thinking Places
2021-Winter Niagara2024-My soul in a coffee cup-Highland farms-Missussauga2024-November-Caldense-Symington-Toronto-Examining our Primary Purpose2017-Winter-Toronto- View from a Trade College-North York-The first winter in Canada -permanently staying here2021-Spring-Tobermory- the first post Covid pandemic year2022-July-Algonquin- revisiting the 100 day preparation guideline my father PNB taught 2011-October- Walks by the Alaknanda-First visit after my mother passed -June 2011
I did go to these two places two times, first in the beginning of the year -2024 and later to Barre on a self guided silent retreat, after meeting my nephew Mayank (Rawat) at Rochester in September and Manresa-October 2024- to develop the nuances of different approaches to recovery and healing.
These retreats have become sleeves of the departing year, landscapes which I have examined with fellow-travelers, alone and also with fellows who may talk to oneself across time. Reading the 1821 works of Charles Lamb on a quiet winter day in December 2024 made me remember my own transitions, how I have tried to adjust. It also reminded me of the transitions which I helped and witnessed for my sons- Sagar going to New York City in 2022 and now settling in the rhythm of that city and the younger one- Sahil finishing his Masters and transitioning into being a PhD candidate at Toronto Metropolitan University.
Coffee at Bloor….Toronto..Opening to Eternity
2024-October-Sahil at Graydon Rock -Mississauga, after finishing his Masters Degree in Industrial and Mechanical Engineering from Toronto Metropolitan University-2022-2024. He studied in Gordon Graydon Memorial School from 2014 to 2018. Earlier perspectives – 2018 June A few moments more | Prashant Bhatt’s notes
The wood had entered my soul….those words of Charles Lamb made me reflect on the images which have been part of my existence, the worksheets which we make, the checklists which we revise and also the photo-sections and trips made to different galleries. The basement section of the Art Gallery of Ontario has beautiful ships which I have visited over the past decade. One friend with whom I have coffee on a weekly basis, helped me understand what it is to have time and be ok with it, not trying to fill it in with any form of activity. Just feel the sense of having time. This exercise helped me open myself to Eternity.
Do you have any such activity which transcends the day to day?
Sleeve of a Year-2024: Museum Walks- Met -New York, Feb 2024: The Dioramas of the Met, NYC reminded me of the walks in North Africa, Egypt, Libya in the 2000s when I first started staying there. The first new year 2004-outside India, the friends and fellow travelers – who helped me understand and shape my identity as an Immigrant Professional.
Earlier Perspectives: Exploring and Learning from Literature
Walks at Port Credit-Brueckner Rhododendron Park-2024- One of my Thinking Places
Notes from a Reading Journal- 2014- August
One session started with Edward Said’s “Orientalism” in which the concept of the West speaking for the silenced subalterns of the Orient is exposed. The summer of 1947 was unlike any other in Indian history, seeing the migration of around 15 million people and murdering of around 1 million. Nehru’s “Tryst with Destiny” speech does not address these aspects which were dealt with by writers such as Khushwant Singh in “Train to Pakistan”, Bapsi Sidhwa in “Ice-Candy Man” or Salman Rushdie -”Midnight’s children” in different ways.
Brotherhood- With Ajju (Ajay Thapliyal) in Dehradun- December talks, revisiting years gone by. A kind soul, he took in a dog from the street who was feeling cold. But she wanted to have both the street in the day and the warm room in the night, thereby putting his other puppy and other humans who stay there at risk. So “Laali” had to go.
Palam meals together and a night of meditation and prayer took me down memory lane.
Mindfulness Prompt – Healing by Memories
Remember a moment of connection with a loved one and discuss how it informs your mindfulness and meditation practice.
For example
Riding from Vasant Kunj C 8 to Palam Vihar B block we crossed the farms and Rezang La War Memorial and we , Mausaji – Dr Ram Prasad Nawani and I remembered trips made here over the decades .
Moments of Connection
These shared memories have made us cover many journeys together, too many to cover in a blog.
Further Nuances -Healing by Memories letter to a younger self
Prompt – Hold a screen of every five years and show the movie of his / her life to the small child who did not know how his life would be.
Knowing what you know now, what would you tell the child
Example
Last February, 2023, I took a picture of my father sitting on his mother’s lap as an infant around 1940. The family elders , my great grandfather, his three sons and their wives are there in the picture. It is framed in the house of Rakesh Chacha ji , in B block Kamla Nagar,Agra. I carried a digital version and framed it in my house in Mississauga Ontario.
Short version- Healing by Memories 1971-1975
In these five years, the infant PNB and family, my mother NB, myself and my sister SR lived in Poona . Our family would visit Benares to the home of Nanaji Naniji . The garden which GPU planted in the 1950s is still thriving. Family members have visited the garden and the present incumbents of E 10. Then PNB went to Vellore for a year. He introduced us to the museums and parks of South India.
Walks in nature, walks in museums, a home library, a journal of our journeys, and morning walks are five gifts my parents gave me which have enriched my life in many ways
Walks in Nature
1970s Nature and Culture
The Ganga is the river of the Indian civilization. Nehru ji said one cannot write the history of India without writing about the history of the Ganga. The Ganga is a witness to our aspirations, laughter and tears, victories and defeats . As I remember the introduction of walks by a river , of the Ganga in Benares area , the difference in attitudes of my grandfather – a political science professor and my grandmother – a devout practicing Hindu come to mind .
E 10
Bal Mukund Uniyal – father of my Nana ji Ganesh Prasad Uniyal. Got this picture from Shyampur Rishikesh. Umesh Mama ji was grandson of BMU . Manorama Mami has arranged a beautiful family altar , prayer place with Family Relics
Met a cousin, who was born in that house in 1960s. We spent a great evening in Mumbai discussing family over a meal.
The house from where my parents were married in Jan 1967. The way different family members affect each other was a part of the healing by memories meditation .
Walks along the Ganga
Riverwood Mississauga, walks by Nature, rivers were introduced to me in 1970 s as my parents took me for walks by the Ganga in Benares. A continuity
Family staying in Rishikesh Shyampur area introduced me to the Ganga as it comes out of the Himalayas in a very unique way. The three brothers and their sister , each helped me see the Ganga and our histories and nuances in a different way. The eldest brother was part of the Deccan Horse and through him I was first introduced to the importance of armored vehicles in protecting our people. Remember conversations in identity, what it takes to keep s nation safe.
Getting Current – 2024 December
Morning Hour Rajaji National park
On a drive through Rajaji National park in the early morning hour before sunrise , the fellow traveler told me how he has seen elephants, antelopes and big cats come on the road in the night. He talked about the Church he is a part of. I told him of my associations with spiritual places in North Africa, South Europe and North America. As we carefully crossed the forest area and reached the Shyampur Rishikesh area before sunrise, we talked about how according to tradition, Mary the mother of Jesus spent her last days in Ephesus, present day Izmir province of Turkey. When I used to stay in Tripoli Libya I have visited these areas associated with the Bible , the churches in historical Constantinople.
Metta at Triveni Ghat Rishikesh
Prayers at Triveni Ghat Rishikesh Dec 2024
Principles Meditated Upon on the banks of Ganga : Non floating versus Floating Approach
The way of considering sati may be related to the definition of sati as “non-floating” and therefore as “plunging into its object”. Certainly the absence of “floating”, in the sense of distraction, is a characteristic of sati.
Analayo interpretation of Satipathana Sutta .
Some conversations: When was the last time you came here. A cousin asked. I told how I first started coming here in 1970 s and have prayed in the foothills of Himalayas. I remembered the walks and meditation at Ram jhula, Laxman Jhula, Rishikesh area and Bilu Kedar , Dhari Devi Temples of Srinagar area , and the Chamoli area , Karanprayag areas . In 1986 , my parents had taken me to Badrinath and Kedarnath areas , and my father took me for walks beyond Badrinath area.
AARTI AND PRAYERS
My plan to have a short hello at Shyampur was turned down to include an Aarti and prayer at the Ganga in Rishikesh. The prayers and meditations at Triveni Ghat Rishikesh, 14 Dec , took the form of Metta Living Kindness.
Short Version of Metta Prayers
The shorter version of Living Kindness has Metta , sending wishes of safety, happiness, be at ease , free from pain and suffering. This is done for mentors, loved ones, benefactors, neutral persons and also for persons with whom one has strained relations. The energy when one does Metta prayers and meditations for different persons helps us become more aware of our tendencies, reactivity, responsiveness and areas for growth.
Longer Version
This includes Metta , living kindness, Mudita happiness, Karuna Compassion, Upekha Balance.
Application in Palam
Family Collages – Palam Vihar
Did Metta prayers for the spirit of my parents, the causes and conditions of the 1960s India which made them evolve their identities in early adulthood. Those were the Nehru years when the first post independence generation came of age . Those were the times when my father went for his first tour of duty to the North East . The passing away of his father, the changes in family dynamics . Life long friends in the medical and military institutions, some of whom are associated with family to family ties for over half a century.
B block park Palam Vihar Metta prayers
While walking to and fro from Palam B to C block, remembered Saraswati Bua ji.
Remembered the time when children Sagar and Sahil would play there
Application Exercise
Can you remember a park which has been a part of your identity.
Prashant Bhatt's notes 