This Mother’s Day, I used the tools of indexing and Episodic memory to go back to the Shimla of 1940s, Benares of 1950s, Pune of 1970s, while also talking about museum diaries and joint prayers at Dhari Devi Temple – Srinagar Garhwal in more recent times( 2011 with Joshi Khanduri family – 2023 with Rakesh Chacha ji ) , and conversations in identity in Ontario and New York area. My parents instilled the love of the written word in me, helped start a home library and write letters, diaries and personal reflections which have enriched life in various ways
. Indexing
Principle:Collective Memory
Tool : Indexing
Short Version : a store house of family memories
Long Version : The family members carries out the indexing after a trip, meeting or significant event . Observations and Vignettes, Thoughts , Feelings, Sensations , Memories are used to illustrate the different categories. The accumulation of these indexed materials provides the family members a ” Collective Family Memory ” . ( CFM )
This can be viewed as a storehouse of memories and materials which place at the disposal of other family an abundance of facts gathered by many , thereby transcending the narrow confines of individual experience and extending the possibilities of insightful study, identity development, constructive comparisons, learning and growth .
Application
Around Mother’s Day 2025
Looking back at the mother energies , I remember my grandmother ( Nani ji – Kamla Uniyal nee Bahuguna) and our trips to Benares as children. My sister Shailu ji stayed there for a year in her early childhood. Nani ji was a devout Hindu, who followed the Ramcharitramanas .
When she would visit Khadki cantonment Pune area, Maharashtra she would go to ashrams and temples .
Through associations of marriage, my father PNB ( Prem Narain Bhatt) found a structure of a family which was different from his own reality, as his mother had passed away when he was less than five years ago. Viewing those pictures of Shimla of early 1940 s, – and seeing her sit on a table for the photographs – most likely tuberculosis of hip area ( Bone TB).
The age at which one loses one’s parents physically , impacts the way one grieves . My father PNB would often tell about the loss of his mother. Those memories taught me the truth in the words that one a loved one passes away physically, our relationship with them does not end , but changes from the day to day physical immediate to a spiritual dimension.
My mother Nirja Bhatt nee Uniyal ( NB) was one of my first teachers . She studied the school materials , especially science and languages , and along with my father, instilled the love of the written word in me. We grew up in Khadki cantonment and Golibar Maidan of Pune area . Biology and landscapes – in different hours of the day, in different seasons was a concept I learned from them, and have applied it in many travels and walks . Our walks in Rishikesh area, dinners at Ram jhula area are a part of those memories.
Principle – Semantic Versus Episodic Memory
Tool : Diaries
Short Version : Retrieval of information about Dinner last night is different from retrieval of information about summer capital of British India
Long Version :
The psychologist Endel Tuvling of University of Toronto made this distinction in the 1970 s.
Remembering childhood trips to Rishikesh or Shimla , morning walks in Sahyadris of Western Maharashtra is different from retrieving information of the capital of the Peshwas, the origins of the Ganga, or the year Uttarakhand became a state . This involves a autobiographical memory, a reliving of the past, and is rich in taste ,smells, sounds , feelings which are personal ,unique and concrete which we can retrieve from our own past. It is timeless knowledge we share with the world about the world .
Application
Around Mother’s Day I also remember how my father PNB renewed contacts with his mother’s side of the family, visited his Mama Ji in Srinagar area of Garhwal – Uttarakhand.
The trips to Dhari Devi and Bilu Kedar Temples of Srinagar Garhwal are part of those episodic memories . After my mother passed away physically, I went to pray by the Ganga ( Alaknanda) and met the family of my father’s Mama Ji – and was guided by them – local knowledge. A trip to Dhari Devi (2011- October) with the Khanduri Joshi family reminded me of the conversations which my mother would have with them on her six monthly trips to that area . After my father PNB passed away suddenly in a car accident, my mother went through a lot of unprocessed grief. Visits to Rishikesh, prayers in Srinagar Garhwal – and talks with the Khanduri Joshi family helped her come out of that down phase. Another application was the weekly visits to Sai Mandir of New Palam Vihar with Saraswati bua ji ( Dabral family of B block ).
Those episodic memories were renewed when I went to Dhari Devi with Rajesh Chacha ji ( Rakesh Bhatt RB) in February 2023. That was the month I visited India after long and went to meet Sabu Bua ji – first time after passing away of Surinder Mama Ji ( Surendra Thapliyal- Aug 2022)
We did trips to Rishikesh and Srinagar Garhwal from Dehradun and had breakfast after praying at Dhari Devi temple.
Getting Current ( May 2025)
Talked to Sagar about his trips to Jaisalmer, Gir in Western India last November December (2024). Now that front has become very active. Remember going there in 1986-87 – Jodhpur area with my father after my first professional.
Sagar told of his staying inside the Jaisalmer fort , and in a camp in the Thar desert. We later went for a walk to Elmhurst area and witnessed a community song and dance sequence by the Chinese American community..
Museums with children has been a theme which my father PNB imbibed in me, which I passed on to my sons.
Sagar talked about the culture he experienced in Rajasthan. We remembered the visits to Bhiwandi and Thane area. I told of how my mother in law – Meena Karia took me to a temple in Bhiwandi where her marriage ceremonies were done on May 12-1966.
The trip to NYC – first one of this year (2025) reminded me of last year trip in July (2024) when we had met Meena Mousi ji – and prayed together at her house. Seeing a picture of Nana ji – Ganesh Pradesh Uniyal ( GPU) and his eye cleaner was a high point of that trip of 2024- July. After my mother passed away I gave the eye cleaner of GPU which my mother had kept , to her sister. I also passed on a Bodhisattva statue – my last gift to my mother ( 2009- September) to Sabu Bua ji – which she says is now with Jyoti( Jyoti Bhatt nee Thapliyal) .
. Family Relics – to build Episodic Memories
Tyre burst memories – had some uneasy moments in the evening of May 9- (2025) as smoke came out of a burst tyre . It was drizzling in that hilly area. Managed to change the tyre on my own.( Last time I had done it around 1998 – on a scooter in New Delhi)
Summary Reflections
Road trips, night stayovers, diaries, museum journals, family discussions, gifting of family relics and momentoes , praying together at Temples where our family has prayed for generations are some ways I which I try to build the Collective Family Memories and Episodic Memories .
These help to deepen one’s autobiographical memory and build a sense of family cohesion. Indexing helps to add further nuances to my diaries and journals, as I revisit whom I met, what did we eat, what we discussed and when was the previous time we had met.
For example, meetings at Dhari Devi and meals together at , Srinagar Garhwal with the Khanduri Joshi family (2011- October) and with Rakesh Chacha ji ( 2023-Feb) helped renew many previous associations.
Meals with Meena Mousi ji ( June 2024) in New York city, helped renew many memories.
Question For Reflection
Which museum, monument, place of worship or park has a special link to your family journeys? Who was there with you or who did you particularly remember when you visited that place ?
***Notes around<Mother’s Day -2025
Earlier Perspectives
2017 Bradley Museum Mississauga -50
years https://prashantbhatt.com/2017/12/16/year-end-notes-2017/
ANNAPRASHAN-He was like my Godfather2023-
Around Father’s Day
Around Father’s day-2023: On Fathers and Godfathers
Prashant Bhatt's notes 