Family Day 2026: Steeles in December 2025

Last December (2025), I sat down in a Mevame next to the worship place for one last time. This was in memory of my friend, supporter, and keen observer. Here, every moment felt like a part of a larger tapestry I now call ‘Steeles Reflections.’ 

This tapestry reflects a journey of self-discovery and shared experiences

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‘Steeles Reflections’ is a concept that captures the essence of personal growth and connection. It draws from meaningful interactions. It includes moments of introspection and shared laughter and tears. 

Later, I read again from Barbara Myerhoff’s book, one of the foundational influences on Narrative Therapy. 

In ‘Number our Days’ and the Toronto versions, we created over many lovely hours. There were many shared moments of laughter. We also had moments of tears. After a few weeks of reflection, I came to a realization. I needed to replenish the unique energy and wisdom my friend provided. I needed someone to hold me accountable. I approached another senior spiritual fellow traveler, sharing this journey of ‘Steeles Reflections.’ I also discussed with another trusted person, who smiled and helped me work through the frameworks.

Family Day 2026

               As part of Family Day weekend reflections, I remembered two speeches I heard at that memorial in December (2025). One was a very well-prepared, structured speech. It delved into the different phases of my friend’s life. The speaker related to them and shared personal memories. It was impressive, well-researched, and informative. 

The other speech was straight from the heart. When I got into trouble, I was afraid of my mother. I would go to my father. He would listen and not be judgmental or punitive. He would give some useful suggestions. I carry those lessons with me. I also share them with my own children as they enter those teens-early twenties now. It was spoken from the heart, and there were many tears in the room.

In this article, I build upon those shared moments. I aim to help harness personal memories into active meaning making tools. These should be more than passive reminiscences. There is a worksheet with examples in this article. It includes links to previous reflections on memories. These resources help the reader work on such personal reflective notes. This form of community based learning recognizes that deep reflection happens best in relationship with trusted fellow travelers. For me, sharing a meal with a trusted fellow was a sacred space. Those cups of coffee created moments I will cherish forever.

Congruence

“When asked to report from a congruent stance, the congruent person will say: “I feel accepted. I feel love and understanding. I accept and love myself in this moment. I also accept and love you just as you are in this moment.”

Nagel (2024)

In this chapter, Nagel tells how Congruence is a choice of becoming more fully human, a state of wholeness..a sense of being and becoming. As I take a look back at the many conversations I had with my friend at Rutherford, the concept of congruence as an alternative to subconscious, automatic reactive patterns came across. Nagel writes how Congruence is a more conscious meta-state of being. When congruent, we fully experience our life energy and are in harmony with all our parts. These discussions helped me see my part in the family dynamics, as we peeled layers of my immigration journey from India to Libya, Malta and Canada and how during the years when the family was supported from outside (Libya) the family dynamics were so different. My friend would listen, be my witness, without being judgmental and would offer words of support, advice on matters of the head and heart (just as he must have done to his daughter-who mentioned it in her eulogy).

A sculpting posture adaptation for congruence involves doing a walking meditation around the block before going into the restaurant. I have followed this in Steeles/Rutherford and other Thinking places like Hamilton Immigration Square, Niagara Parks, Lakeshore Burlington, Itabashi, Burlington.

The sculpting or walking adaptation involves being comfortable. Keep feet slightly apart if standing. Maintain a stride at an easy medium pace if walking. The intention is to be balanced. The head should be centered. Keep the eyes gently open. The neck must remain soft. The body should be relaxed. Have the arms loose at the sides with palms open.

Here is an adaptation using Tai Chi moves in Niagara parks region in November 2025

In this sequence, we combine Congruent movements with integration with Universal energy. We connect with Nature and the Elements of Earth, Wind, Water, and Fire. The intention is to be open and grounded in Self, while being relational and loving towards others.

Consciousness and Growth: Family Day 2026

The phenomenological concept of Husserl, that consciousness is always consciousness of something – each memory is intentionally directed towards specific relationships, places, and practices that shape understanding, came alive as I looked back on those shared meals, the family dynamics we discussed, and the speeches I heard on that day at Steeles. Later, as the severe winter of 2025-2026 unfolded, I went to the Credit River and Lake Ontario areas in Mississauga and reflected on those discussions.

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Do you have a  relationship that embodies the three-fold structure of time consciousness- Retention (past): shared meals over the years, Primal Impression (present): Current reflection and tears around the memorial, Protention (future): Family Day 2026, ongoing adaptation of practices.

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Download the worksheet to develop a sense of such consciousness.

References

Nagel, J. (2024). Sculpting: Activating the body so the body can speak. In N. Broide-Miller & M. Leslie (Eds.), Virginia Satir’s evolving legacy: Transformative therapy with a bodymind connection (pp. 125–157).

Earlier Perspectives

Pune , Western India-1970s

Walks in Malta Again

Bloor Reflections-March 2025