Around his 17th birthday, I had some discussions with my elder son Sagar. Then we went through some processes regarding education, society, life –currents and the shape of life of friends-family over the decades-generations.
Xlendi- The tower guarding the mouth of the bay was built by the Grandmaster Juan de Lascaris-Castellar on 29 June 1650.
INSTITUTION
“The family meal is not an institution”, my younger son Sahil argued with me.
That made us all think.
In the past week, we had some revision of the definition of Institution.
Institution-Formally means- an organization founded for a religious,
educational, professional or social purpose.
Informally- a well established and familiar person or custom.
(Source-Oxford Dictionary of English)
REMEMBERING WALDEN..
As I searched for meanings of institutions, I went through this discussion we had about Walden pond, next to the small lake in Tripoli zoo…(Now closed)
Walden Pond Walden (/ˈwɔːldən/; first published as Walden; or, Life in the Woods), by noted transcendentalistHenry David Thoreau, is a reflection upon simple living in natural surroundings. The work is part personal declaration of independence, social experiment, voyage of spiritual discovery, satire, and manual for self-reliance. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walden
DISCUSSIONS AT ARCH OF MARCUS AURELIUS
The Arch of Marcus Aurelius is a Romantriumphal arch in the city of Oea, modern Tripoli, where it is found near the northeastern entrance to the Medina.
It is a quadrifrons trumphal arch, surmounted by an unusual octagonal cupola,and was erected (entirely in marble) by Gaius Calpurnius Celsus, quinquennial duumvir of the city, to commemorate the victories of Lucius Verus, junior colleague and adoptive brother of the Emperor Marcus Aurelius, over the Parthians in the Roman–Parthian War of 161–66.
WALKS
My father instilled the love of cultural walks in me, when he would take me to museums and temples. The Parvati temple of Pune , was a favorite. The main temple, as it stands today, was built by the third Peshwa, Shrimant Nana Saheb in the year 1749 A.D.
END NOTE…As I refined my understanding of the meaning of Institutions, through the dialectic of discussion with my sons, I remembered one more great family institution (established practice or custom)…the historical walks and morning walks
As part of giving them a lesson on this – I told them of a living present custom which I follow-
A view from Corniche-Near Mahari-Tripoli evening walks-December 2015
The pace and complexity of life in this day and time sometimes make it very difficult to get back to a place in our mind and spirit where we are able to get back to place in our mind and spirit where we are able to access all that we are and need to be. There is no substitute for good and old-fashioned hard work, informed preparation and clearly thought out coping strategies for difficult times.
Dr.Phil McGraw
Not a day without a line- said Pliny the Elder.
Yesterday, in lieu of writing the year-end diary I went through photo-diaries and notes of yesteryears and saw the truth in the words of John Lennon
Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.
A PLACE TO GO BACK TO AS HOME
NIGHT AT PALAM VIHAR
The second memorable night was when my uncle sat with me, as I spent a night in Palam Vihar after a long time. After the bravado, dinner with old friends was over, I returned to my home. Of all the places I have been to around the world, this is one place I can call home and come back to.
No place to come back to as home.
This feeling is something which can be very defeating.
My uncle went through this night –recalling the time when he was a boy of ten, and had to go to the banks of the Ganga to do the last rites of his father. “In our custom, a person whose parents are still alive cannot accompany you to the banks of the Ganga to do the last rites. So my school friend, who was accompanying me after the principal had called me and told me to go immediately to my home told me at a fork in the road- now I will be going my way, and you go to your house. The principal had not broken the news to the boy. He had just told him that he is urgently required in his house. When the friend parted, the little boy understood and walked that lonely road alone.”
We sat together for a long time, talking about the shape of life, families and generations.
He has lightly rebuked me at times for my wandering ways, and the related dynamics. A mathematician, he was the person who taught me to make notes, and do deep thinking.
In Dr.Phil’s book, there are many lessons given about “Real Life”
SUBSTITUTES
Reflecting on the note of Dr.Phil- “There is no substitute for good and old-fashioned hard work, informed preparation and clearly thought out coping strategies for difficult times,” one long term expatriate worker in Tripoli pointed out recurring non resolved themes in life due to the dynamic of staying away from family.
This is a sort of blended family, as dynamics change. There are stresses when one goes back to the life one left behind in one’s own country. People grow in their own ways, while you are developing your own life.
Sometimes there is a cacophony of voices- each trying to pull-push in a particular direction, and each trying to prove his or her point of interest to be right.
What does one do and more importantly, what does one not do in such situations.
“You are not a strong one” one person said on the use of Silence as a tool.
“Sometimes silence, stepping back can be a very useful and powerful thing,” the other person responded.
CONCEPTS OF HOME
Home is not a place to stay, as a physical space, but also a concept. A place where the family memorabilia are kept , shared . In that way, many working people have made their homes in Tripoli region, and collected memorabilia and artefacts from different parts of the world. In a picture album which I keep near my place of reflection, there are photographs of different family members in different phases of life. These are symbols of continuity and links between a past, present and future.
DIARY VERSUS JOURNAL
In “Who will cry when you die” the writer-speaker Robin Sharma tells about the difference between a diary and journal. A journal he says is one of the best personal development tools one can have. In this private space, one can reflect and refine on what we do, why we do it, and what lessons we have learnt.
Spending “One to One Time” to develop identity and bonding was one theme I developed in the past year.
In the Journal format, answering specific questions
What we do?
Went for walks to museums, archives.
Why we do this?
Spending time in a local archives is different from a museum.
Went with my son to see how the place where we live in has changed over past 100 years. In this historical societies, which look back at the contributions of a place during major events is an eye opener.
Examples
Peel Arts Museum and Archives,PAMA-Brampton,Mississauga
There were specific exhibitions on the contributions of Sikhs in the two world wars.
This exhibition made me relate to the family relics which we have in our own house relating to the long years of service in Indian Army which my father had. I showed my sons the Ashoka Emblem, the different medals in a new light, after having seen that unique exhibition in PAMA
Ontario Science Centre- many lovely hours, spent watching theme based exhibtions- Brain, Science of Music, Lemurs-of madagascar, Myth busters, Space, Body sections, Ethnography, …..
2015-7 Peel Art Museum and Archives-PAMA. The building was a jail till 1977
2015 Toronto Botanical Gardens-July-Sahil now taller than me
Ontario Science Centre–
Special exhibitions on Myth Busters, made us look at the science behind some daily things.Earlier we had seen the Science of Rock and Roll, and Brain.
These exhibitions help us reflect on the way science has changed our lives.
The societies with specific interests make us try to refine our experiences, rather than just living in a struggle-survival mode, which becomes the narrative of many immigrants and diaspora.
Looking back at walks in yesteryears-Manori Drawings, Western India coastline-2009 August
What did we learn?
Trying to answer –What did we learn- in the three specific situations namely (1) A talk with my uncle in our family home in Palam Vihar (2) Walks through PAMA-seeing the exhibition on Sikh participation in the World Wars and (3) Consciously trying to be part of societies- with specific interests made us learn
Night talk in my family home: One to one conversations Develop identity and perspective
Using the stepping back-Silence theme helps one make a sense of the whole.
An Archive- this is different from a museum, though having similaraties.
Made this relate to some family memorabilia more meaningfully. The visits served as a point of reference. I have been consciously collecting memorabilia to give children a sense of the family.
Gave my son, the song book of my father, written in 1989.
He told me that it must be very dear to me.
I said, Yes, it is. That is why I am giving it to you, his grandson.
Societies
We brought back a Giant Panda and Blue Jays from the Toronto zoo and the Toronto Botanical Gardens.
We also went through the special book taken out by St.Edward’s college-Malta commemorating the 75th year (1929-2004)
These serve as memories and links.
Discussed about the way volunteers have added the dynamics of that place.
–
This were some year end notes 2015
Happy New Year 2016
You can download the file with some photo-diaries of previous years by clicking on the link below.
Tripoli notes- This year, I separated my Reading journal
into a different website.
Gracereadings.com (links are given below
Letters– In the past year, I consciously developed the theme of –Write a letter to a loved one who has passed way-and every month review those letters. These deepen my connection with many currents.
BHATT FAMILY 1970
Remembering parents and times gone by- 1970
Here I am reproducing in part a letter I wrote to my father- who passed away in 1999, on meeting his old friend and colleague from Army medical Corps in August 2015
MEETING SURI UNCLE- In August , when I went to India, I met Brigadier Suri. He talked affectionately and told about many intricacies of life, how it developed after his retirement, the business he is doing with his son-Muneer. As we sat on that evening in Palam Vihar, my mind’s eye went to the times in the eighties in Pune when I used to come from medical college, and stay in Chest diseases hospital of Golibar Maidan-and prepare for the next semester. The studies of Pathology and Pharmacology in the second professional, the intense studies of Medicine, Surgery in Final professional. The trips you used to make to visit me in Old Boy’s and New Boy’s hostel of Maulana Azad. I cherish those trips we made together, the one-on-one time we spent, the times we went to Golcha and Regal cinemas, the times we went for a trip to Shimla.
In such letters, I also write about books and related thoughts
SPIRITUAL MATTERS- Have been reading the book on the Quest for Historical Jesus, which go through the debates between spiritual, mystical, supernatural, rational, mythological , esthalogical aspects of the life of Jesus. Did Jesus know that he was the Messiah- the Son of God, or did he think he was a prophet. Different writers, ranging from Strauss in 17th century to Schweitzer in 20th century have written about these issues from different perspectives. For me, going through these debates and issues makes me closer to different spiritual trends- and I think about our own Hindu-Indian mythological tales- the Ramayana and Mahabharata, their association with real geographical places like Ayodhya and Indraprastha – and how these shape the consciousness of living humans.
Walks– Previous year-Walks..through parks, museums. Here are some photographs and walks of the year gone by and some yesteryears.
July-saw Blue Moon over Niagara, and tried to capture it in night.
Walks in Kalemgdon Park-Belgrade,-the historic place where first world war started. (Are we living through World War III?)
And some friends and family, from different places.
2002-LODHI GARDENS-DELHI…Remembering Walks of yester years
FRIENDS WHO SHAPED PERSPECTIVE..DR.SAAD MAKHLUF, -Malta Sweiqi..with Sahil. A former Libyan National level football player, Chief of Libyan Olympic Committee, and dear friend…many interesting discussions over the years
Prashant Bhatt's notes 