Alexithymia

Posted on July 14, 2024 by prashant bhatt

Gendered Socialisation

Boys are taught to value and lead to certain parts of them. Girls are taught to do the same but with other parts.Boys were nurtured by their caretaker, till around 4-5 years, and then for fear of being “sissified” they were wrenched away and may even be shamed for showing emotions. 

Schwartz, 2023

In the cultural context of immigrant families in North America, I found many men who are unable to express and explore their emotions.

Case scenario: Relationships, Un-Manliness and Cultural Messaging

 Tanmay (a composite), a 27-year-old graduate student, struggling after the breakup of his second online relationship came to me feeling uncertain, confused and hesitant to restart another relationship. As we went into his family of origin to see for underlying patterns, he told of how his parents stayed in the Middle East before shifting the family to Canada, while the father continued to earn and support the Canadian journey. This is a common theme found in Subcontinent origin families. As we went into the way emotions were expressed (or suppressed) in the family, the dynamic of a long-distance parent, the emotional instability with no proper economic roots in this society came forward.

Themes around “un-manliness” and what it is to be the “typical male” came up.

Terry Real, in his book,  I don’t want to talk about (1998) talked about difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behaviour and rage as being failed solutions to escape depression.

The Toronto Alexithymia Scale  can get one started on becoming aware of the patterns and messages which one has imbibed

Alexithymia and Immigrant journeys

Coined by Peter Sifneos in 1973, the term comes from Greek roots meaning “no words for emotions.” Alexithymia is often observed in various psychological, medical conditions and in the context of immigrant families can be experienced in varying degrees depending on the level of assimilation, marginalisation, integration and separation. (Akhtar, 2010; Sifneos, 1973)

Therapeutic Process: Third Wave-Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) approaches like Acceptance and Commitment therapy (ACT) with focus on emotional awareness and expression can be useful in addressing these issues

For example

  1. Journal of Emotions: T was encouraged to keep a journal where he noted daily events and attempted to label his feelings associated with those events.

The story of how emotions were expressed in his family of origin was started by making some jottings on how he remembers his own parents relating to his grandparents. These cultural messages can be more nuanced as we see the effect of immigration and the early years (first three to five years in Canadian society are very difficult, especially for de-credentialied professionals who try to make it through using labour market or delivery jobs)

  1. Mindfulness Practices: Polyvagal theory informed approaches will help tune to one’s internal states, aiding in the recognition of subtle emotional cues.

The polyvagal journal will be aware of the dorsal vagal (freeze), sympathetic (fight , fright) and the ventral vagal (social, tend, befriend) and use this format to be more aware of one’s tendencies (Dana,2020)

HISTORICAL COMMUNITIES: HIGH PARK-TORONTO

Memorial for Portuguese Community of Toronto: Connecting with monuments commemorating the communities is a mindfulness practice which helps us Embody the many different currents which have gone into our making as a city and community

  1. Psychoeducation: Awareness of emotions, their importance, and how to recognize different emotional states in himself and others can lead us to a life of greater connection and fulfilment.
Blue Mountains-Collingwood area-Ontario-2018-May: Walking these landscapes, made me relate to the stories of writers like Alice Munro and Margaret Atwood in a different way. Listening to Kishore Kumar, the lyrics of Anand Bakshi, music of R D Burman has been a part of the connection journeys as an immigrant who first start walks in 1970s-in the Sahyadris of Western India and then the Himalayas of Uttarakhand, Garhwal and Shimla, Himachal Area. Embodying these experiences are part of Mindfulness and Learning to Connect

Mindfulness exercise: If you see the initial 20 seconds of the video a dog started coming aggressively towards me. I have walked different areas (including cemeteries) where I have met many such dogs. And have not met any which has attacked me, as I calmly stand my ground and let them be.

References

Akhtar, S. (2010). Immigration and acculturation: Mourning, adaptation, and the next generation. Jason Aronson.

Dana, D. (2020). Polyvagal exercises for safety and connection: 50 client-centered practices (Norton series on interpersonal neurobiology). WW Norton & Company.

Real, T. (1998). I don’t want to talk about it: Overcoming the secret legacy of male depression. Simon and Schuster.

Schwartz, R. (2023). You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships. Sounds True.

Sifneos, P. E. (1973). The prevalence of ‘alexithymic’ characteristics in psychosomatic patients. Psychotherapy and Psychosomatics, 22(2-6), 255-262.

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Around Canada Day 2024: Scientific Culture and Memories of Ontario Science Centre

Posted on July 1, 2024 by prashant bhatt

Generations of frontal lobes, working in close collaboration, have created culture

Van Der Kolk (2014). The body Keeps the score

Around Canada Day, we went for walks and drives towards Orangeville, in preparation for the G license. As I told my son Sahil to review the drive, the scenic route through Caledon, develop a road memory especially at the curves of the road as we go from 410 North towards 10 North at the edge of Brampton and Caledon, we went through a tool of David Burns (Feeling Good) in which we are to rate our mastery and pleasure on a scale of 10, and then generate a number with specific details of different components. We tried this for the different components of driving and also the scenic route. We remembered journeys on this route in the yesteryears , when we went towards Blue Mountains.

Remembering Ontario Science Centre

Over the years, I’ve visited the Ontario Science Centre (OSC) several times to see the special and permanent exhibits. My first visit was in 2014, when I was taking a manual medicine course at a nearby college. My younger son, Sahil, was studying at Camilla Road School at the time and was about to go to Gordon Graydon. One of my favorite memories from that visit was showing Sahil the different sounds of the forest. Another was making him appreciate a tree system that was part of a Masters thesis and donated to the center in 1971. While standing in front of the tree, I told him that his grandmother had done her Masters in Botany in India in the 1960s. Being from the life sciences, I found the section on the brain and the special exhibitions on different parts of the body and how they adapt to extreme weather and high mountains particularly appealing. The dioramas of immigrant families were especially touching.

SOUNDS OF FORESTS-Ontario Science Centre

Mindfulness and the Forest: Over the years the many special exhibitions developed in us the spirit of science and we spent many hours in these galleries
Roots: a 1971 Masters Thesis project donated to the Science Centre

Rating Mastery and Pleasure: An Application from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (Burns, 1981)

In this method, we break activities into parts and rate how good we are at them or how much pleasure they bring. This cognitive behavioural therapy tool can be used in various situations. For example, we watched “Chandu Champion” again and thought about how different generations have shaped the culture of sports. This reminded us of the 2012 London Olympics, which we attended at Celebration Square in Mississauga. That year, we moved to Canada from India after living in Malta for two years.

Van Der Kolk (2014) in this book -Body Keeps the score writes ” The frontal lobes allow us to plan, reflect, imagine, and play out future scenarios. They help us to predict what will happen if we take one action (like applying for a new job) or neglect another (not paying the rent). They make choices possible and underlie our astonishing creativity. Generations of frontal lobes, working in close collaboration, have created culture, which got us from dug-out canoes, horse-drawn carriages, and letters to jet planes, hybrid cars, and e-mail. They also gave us Noam’s lifesaving trampoline”

Picture from Van Der Kolk (2014) of a five year old’s drawing of what he witnessed in 9/11 at the World Trade Centre attack

Home Library and Journals

Our home library has books on Science and some interesting collections of pictures of scientific exhibits. The Ontario Science Centre gave many such memories. Will miss it.

Do you have a favourite museum or exhibit, which has enhanced your thinking about culture?

References

Burns, D. D. (1981). Feeling good (pp. 131-148). Signet Book.

Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. New York, 3.

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Father’s day-2024: The Home Library Journeys

Posted on June 16, 2024 by prashant bhatt

From the earliest times to our own, in cave, village, or consulting room, certain individuals- healers- have stood out for being able to ease the suffering of the mourning, melancholic, or mad

Jamison, 2023, Fires in the Dark, Healing the Unquiet Mind

Vision, trust,inspiration were some gifts my father gave me. 

Growing up in Poona -Maharashtra – he gave me the gift of the morning hour, when night turns into day. In developing the home library, and learning from different perspectives he helped me expand my horizons

This summer, as I visited my son in Elmhurst, Queens, we went to Marble Collegiate church (MC) for a mass. I also expanded my library.  The MC mass was having a ceremony to commemorate fresh graduates. They were asked to share about their first days in MC, something which the congregation does not know about them, how God/Spirituality is working in their lives. An interesting discussion with many varied responses led me down memory lane, when I used to attend Anglican church in Medina, Tripoli and reminded me of how the premises in Medina where the Church was housed, used to once be an art gallery. It reminded me of the Easter celebrations of the Orthodox church during the eighties (veterans told me about those years under Gaddafi-and how he was tolerant to those streams of spirituality). Those meditations in Medina Tripoli, led me to view the art of the Mediterranean in a different light, and understand works like “Death of Dragut” from different perspectives. 

MOTI-PALAM-National Capital Region-Delhi-India-Man's best friend-Jan 2020
MOTI-PALAM-National Capital Region-Delhi-India-Man’s best friend-Jan 2020
Commonwealth War Graves Cemetery-Tripoli
2011-Revolution in Libya-Wall Art in Tripoli
Karnaprayag-Uttarakhand-2016-November
With my Mamaji. Sudhir Bahuguna- walks in the Himalayas
Africa Section- Hyena-2014-Toronto zoo

This June as I drive around (Orangeville – to help son to obtain a G license so that he does not have to go back to taking the license every few years; Export boulevard- to see how the story of Ram can teach us lessons of society and see how the Guyana Hindu community carries the message forward in Canada in 21st century)- I listened to “Unquiet Mind” (Jamison, 2014) and the nuances of how depression and mania are different for men and women, what cultural messages are passed on to different genders and how these can be used to chart the maps, territories and journeys of persons with challenges.

Father’s Day 

This spring I took a course on Grief, Bereavement, and Mourning in which the course directors (Dr.Eddy Pakes, Psychiatrist and Michael Blugerman, Social worker) told about how the age of loss (death /separation/adoption/ transition) affects the nature of grief. A young child who has lost his parent perceives the world in a different way. This reminded me of my own father’s oft repeated remarks about how his mother passed away when he was less than five years old (Shimla, British India, early 1940s). It also made me recall the emotional recalling by my uncle , one of my reading and note taking mentors, on the day his father passed away, when he was around ten years old, and how he went from school to the banks of one of the tributaries of the River Ganga, (north of Rishikesh area, Uttarakhand, India) to participate in the last rites of his father. The influence of my father and uncle, on the way I make notes, view the world, and relationship with death and life became more focused as I took this course. 

Afterthoughts

The home library has been a a gift my father, grandfather and uncles gave me, which I have refined over the decades. Keeping a Reading journal, in which I note my thoughts, reflections after reading adds richness and uniqueness to this library

References

Jamison, K. R. (2014). An unquiet mind: A memoir of moods and madness. Pan Macmillan.

Mind, A. U. (2015). Kay Redfield Jamison. Writing Widowhood: The Landscapes of Bereavement, 169.

Earlier perspectives 

In 2015 (Radiology, Tripoli) – we did a series on History of Medicine and the Imaging correlates of Nobel prize in medicine for past 20 years, and inculcated them into our department Wall Magazine

Struggles and Confessions-Notes from a Reading Journal-2018
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